“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
That was a good rumination today.
Thoughts?
“God loves you as you are, not as you should be, because you’ll never be as you should be.”
Thank you Brennan for showing us the Abba of Jesus as only you could…RIP…
I have had a few great opportunities to be with Brennan and experience his love for God through his teaching. He was always impacting, always honest, and always revealed a picture of Jesus and the love of Abba that was real, radical, scandalous and immersed with ruthless grace.
I remember asking Brennan about dealing with a particular “hot button” issue in the church, and how to approach dealing with the people involved…his answer was quick, and honest. He said, “You know Monty, God has just called me to love whatever person or group of people who are in front of me, no matter what or who they are.” I thought, “that’s too easy.” But I knew he was absolutely right. Grace has a way of simplifying issues. Grace is the great equalizer of -all- sins. Grace is the reality of Jesus that Brennan breathed in and out daily.
Here are some of my favorite Brennan quotes:
“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”
― Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child:
“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”
“Real freedom is freedom from the opinions of others. Above all, freedom from your opinions about yourself. ”
― Brennan Manning, The Wisdom of Tenderness
“The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creation. Not to make people with better morals but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friend, is what it really means to be a Christian.”
― Brennan Manning, The Furious Longing of God
“Imagine that Jesus is calling you today. He extends a second invitation to accept His Father’s love. And maybe you answer, “Oh, I know that. It’s old hat.”
And God answers, ‘No, that’s what you don’t know. You don’t know how much I love you. The moment you think you understand is the moment you do not understand. I am God, not man. You tell others about Me – your words are glib. My words are written in the blood of My only Son. The next time you preach about My love with such obnoxious familiarity, I may come and blow your whole prayer meeting apart.
Did you know that every time you tell Me you love Me, I say thank you?”
― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel
“While the impostor draws his identity from past achievements and the adulation of others, the true self claims identity in its belovedness. We encounter God in the ordinariness of life: not in the search for spiritual highs and extraordinary, mystical experiences but in our simple presence in life.”
― Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child
“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, “A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.”
The gospel of grace nullifies our adulation of televangelists, charismatic superstars, and local church heroes. It obliterates the two-class citizenship theory operative in many American churches. For grace proclaims the awesome truth that all is gift. All that is good is ours not by right but by the sheer bounty of a gracious God. While there is much we may have earned–our degree and our salary, our home and garden, a Miller Lite and a good night’s sleep–all this is possible only because we have been given so much: life itself, eyes to see and hands to touch, a mind to shape ideas, and a heart to beat with love. We have been given God in our souls and Christ in our flesh. We have the power to believe where others deny, to hope where others despair, to love where others hurt. This and so much more is sheer gift; it is not reward for our faithfulness, our generous disposition, or our heroic life of prayer. Even our fidelity is a gift, “If we but turn to God,” said St. Augustine, “that itself is a gift of God.”
My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.”
― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel
In his book “The Furious Longing of God” Brennan told the story of Yolanda. She was in a care center for Hansen’s disease (leprosy). Brennan was serving as a chaplain, and on one particular day he was told that Yolanda was dying and he should go and see her quickly.
“… I went up to Yolanda’s room on the second floor and sat on the edge of the bed. Yolanda is a woman thirty-seven years old. Five years ago, before the leprosy began to ravage, she must have been one of the most stunningly beautiful creatures God ever made. . . . But that was then.
Now her nose is pressed into her face. Her mouth is severely contorted. Both ears are distended. She has no fingers on either hand, just two little stumps.
Two years earlier, her husband divorced her because of the social stigma attached to leprosy, and he had forbidden their two sons, boys fourteen and sixteen, from ever visiting their mother. . . . As a result, Yolanda was dying an abandoned, forsaken woman.
I… prayed with her. . . . [T]he room was filled with a brilliant light. It had been raining when I came in; I didn’t even look up, but said, “Thanks, Abba, for the sunshine. I bet that’ll cheer her up.”
As I turned to look back at Yolanda – and if I live to be three hundred years old I’ll never be able to find the words to describe what I saw – her face was like a sunburst over the mountains, like one thousand sunbeams streaming out of her face literally so brilliant I had to shield my eyes.
I said, ‘Yolanda, you appear to be very happy.’
With her slight Mexican-American accent she said, ‘Oh, Father, I am so happy.’
I then asked her, ‘Will you tell me why you’re so happy?’
She said, ‘Yes, the Abba of Jesus just told me that He would take me home today.’
I vividly remember the hot tears that began rolling down my cheeks. After a lengthy pause, I asked just what the Abba of Jesus said.
Yolanda said:
‘Come now, My love. My lovely one, come.For you, the winter has passed, the snows are over and gone, the flowers appear in the land, the season of joyful songs has come.The cooing of the turtledove is heard in our land.Come now, My love. My Yolanda, come.Let Me see your face. And let Me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face is beautiful.Come now, My love, My lovely one, come.’
Six hours later her little leprous body was swept up into the furious love of her Abba. Later that same day, I learned from the staff that Yolanda was illiterate. She had never read the Bible, or any book for that matter, in her entire life. I surely had never repeated those words to her in any of my visits. I was, as they say, a man undone”
As Brennan closed his eyes forever on this side of the grave, and then opened them and saw Jesus face to face, I believe the first thing he heard from the mouth of God was:
‘Come now, My love. My lovely one, come. For you, the winter has passed, the snows are over and gone, the flowers appear in the land, the season of joyful songs has come.The cooing of the turtledove is heard in our land.Come now, My love. My Brennan, come.Let Me see your face. And let Me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face is beautiful.Come now, My love, My lovely one, come.’
In our conversation at SVA this weekend on the return of Christ, one area we discussed was how followers of Christ are to live and engage the world while waiting for His return. Three key thoughts we discussed were that we needed to:
For me, the Second Coming of Christ comes down to a question of love… If I truly love Jesus with all that is within me, I will long to be with Him, and in the meantime that love will propel me to live in such a way that other’s long for His return as well. The contagion of love creates a Christ-reality and at the same time waits for a Christ-reality.
Love is a verb…
Love requires expression…
Love is why Jesus is coming back…
Love is the means and the method to reach seekers…
Love is the definitive mark for those who follow Jesus…
When we allow God to perform a heart transplant within us, our motivation to share Christ with others moves from religiosity to compassion expressed through love.
This reminds me of the closing scene from Schindler’s List where Oskar Schindler had purchased the lives of 1100+ Jews from concentration camps to work in his factory during WW II. Initially he saw the use of Jewish prisoners as a way to make great profits, but something happend…he changed…his heart changed…those Jewish prisoners became people who mattered and Oskar’s profiteering turned to redemption.
Even though Oskar did so much, spending his income to purchase/redeem those 1100 Jews from a certain death…he knew it wasn’t enough and he could have done more.
When it’s all said and done, and we stand before God I hope we can all know we made a difference.
We are here to help people find their way back to God.
Here’s that final scene from Schindler’s List…
Ah, it’s a new year and time for refocusing, refreshing and renewing every area of your life. If you are ,married, this is a great time to pull your spouse aside and dream and pray together about what God might have in store for you as individuals and as a couple this year. The quality of your marriage will affect every area of your life, as well as your other relationships. For some, it becomes so easy to let the attention that your spouse needs slide as the years go by, and slowly a drift is created that is hard to mend.
As your marriage launches into the new year, here are 7 tips to help you stay on track and in love!
#1. Stop Trying To Control Each Other.
I know this is easier said than done, but spouses who try to change and control each other are never happy and many end up divorced. As a person grows emotionally it becomes clear that the only person you can control is yourself, yet we use pressure and manipulation to try to make each other do what we want them to do. Sometimes it works, but it always creates a level of resentment in the one under pressure. Instead of trying to control, have a conversation where you express your wants and needs in a non-manipulative way and then release the outcome and choose to love regardless.
#2. Eliminate the word “Divorce” from your marriage vocabulary.
Stresses mount, personalities clash, and circumstances get tough…this is life. But when mounting pressure lands on a marriage, the word “divorce” is thrown around (in a controlling/manipulative way) far too often. When you think of marriage as a covenant and not a contract, you choose to eliminate the use of the word divorce. In study after study, and conversation after conversation, when those who have ben married more than 40 years were asked for advice, the phrase “Don’t use the “D” word” comes up legion.By eliminating using the word ‘divorce’ you are saving your energy for where it is most needed, working through a solution, not throwing away a gift. So this year, if you feel that word forming on your lips, choose instead to write out all the positive attributes about your spouse and why you will stay engaged in a healthy way.
#3. Replace The Seven Deadly Habits of Marriage.
In their book Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage, authors William and Coleen Glasser MD,MA, write note the seven deadly habits as:
As you look at the list, those are all debilitating control tactics. I like what the Glasser’s give as trade-ins. Instead of seven deadly habits, they recommend practicing seven caring habits:
#4 Invest In Yourself.
Self care is critical to a healthy marriage. A marriage where one person is always sacrificing and never receiving is not healthy, it’s co-dependent. In taking care of yourself, you need to think in terms of:
Are you in touch with how you are feeling? Do you know more than 10 feeling words? Did a traumatic experience in life stunt your emotional growth? Most people might come up with a physical health plan and even a spiritual growth plan, but never consider how they can invest in growing into an emotionally healthy adult who doesn’t need to control, manipulate or have the world focus on them. This does not comes easy, it takes investing in growth classes, books and an integration of physical and spiritual health. Caring for your physical body through exercise, rest, and play is also crucial to a healthy marriage. You are also a spiritual being and need to grow in the areas or prayer, meditation, study and service to others. If you are investing and growing in these three areas you will be self differentiated enough to have a dynamic marriage.
#5 Remember Your Spouse Is Royalty
Have you ever thought about your spouse as royalty? The truth is, all God’s children are royalty and should be treated as such. It is easy to take advantage of each other in marriage, but if you were married to a royal prince or princess, I am sure you would approach them with honor and respect. I think for most marriages, honor and respect are the two most important ingredients you can have. It is possible to respect someone without loving them, but it is impossible to love someone without respecting them. What are some ways to honor and respect your spouse this year?
#6 Remember to Touch More
You are never too old to touch no matter what your teenagers say! Research shows that consistently touching is great for a marriage as it releases oxytocin and creates a stronger relational bond. So hold hands, rub her shoulders, give each other a massage, give a butt pat or even a high five. Hold each other and kiss for more than 5 seconds. Go on a walk together, snuggle on the couch and watch a romantic movie like ‘Braveheart’ 🙂 Take an inventory of how often and how you touch and make a commitment to increase it!
#7 Schedule Time Together
Time is our greatest commodity today and a lack of time is a marriage crusher. Even though you might have a little voice inside of you saying, “you shouldn’t have to schedule time to be with your spouse, it should just happen”, reality dictates other. Time is precious and life, work, and family responsibilities often take away all the available time before you even know it’s gone! The remedy is to create a date that you will establish as inviolable for you and your spouse to be together. The amount of time you can take will vary in different seasons of your life, but it is important that you both think about maximizing and scheduling time to be together. This is your opportunity to talk about the dreams and passions you have, the struggles you are going through, and to touch. If life has kept you both very busy, use your date time to ask questions that will reveal the heart of the other person. Doing service projects together, going on mission together, simply walking through the city together, do whatever you can this year to have consistent time with each other that is beyond the household duties.