A.B Simpson, the founder of the Christian and Missionary Alliance is one of my heroes, and a living-dead mentor to me through his writings. Simpson had an ongoing Christ-consciousness, and Jesus what the heartbeat you would hear should you press your ear to his breast. I am posting below a piece he wrote called "Himself" there re also the words to a hymn Simpson wrote by the same name at the end of the article.

I hope you breathe deeply and see vividly where Simpson found his life, his source. It was beyond what God could do for him…beyond figuring out the missing "it" of life. Rather Simpson found that which is deeper and yet closer than any of the its we chase…he found Jesus who dwells beyond the shallow levels of the human heart..

OK, drink deep…



By: A. B. Simpson

I wish to speak to you about Jesus, and Jesus only. I often
      hear people say, "I wish I could get hold of Divine Healing,
      but I cannot." Sometimes they say, "I have got it."
      If I ask them, "What have you got?" the answer is sometimes,
      "I have got the blessing", sometimes it is, "I
      have got the theory"; sometimes it is, "I have got
      the healing"; sometimes, "I have got the sanctification."
      But I thank God we have been taught that it is not the blessing,
      it is not the healing, it is not the sanctification, it is not
      the thing, it is not the it that you want, but it is something
      better. It is "the Christ"; it is Himself. How
      often that comes out in His Word ­ "Himself took
      our infirmities and bare our sicknesses", Himself
      "bare our sins in his own body on the tree"! It is
      the person of Jesus Christ we want. Plenty of people get the
      idea and do not get anything out of it. They get it into
      their head, and it into their conscience, and it
      into their will; but somehow they do not get Him into
      their life and spirit, because they have only that which is the
      outward expression and symbol of the spiritual reality. I once
      saw a picture of the Constitution of the United States, very
      skillfully engraved in copper plate, so that when you looked
      at it closely it was nothing more than a piece of writing, but
      when you looked at it at a distance, it was the face of George
      Washington. The face shone out in the shading of the letters
      at a little distance, and I saw the person, not the words, nor
      the ideas; and I thought, "’That is the way to look at the
      Scriptures and understand the thoughts of God, to see in them
      the face of love, shining through and through; not ideas, nor
      doctrines, but Jesus Himself as the Life and Source and
      sustaining Presence of all our life."


I prayed a long time to get sanctified, and sometimes I thought
      I had it. On one occasion I felt something, and I held on with
      a desperate grip for fear I should lose it, and kept awake the
      whole night fearing it would go, and, of course, it went with
      the next sensation and the next mood. Of course, I lost it
      because I did not hold on to Him. I had been taking a
      little water from the reservoir, when I might have all the time
      received from Him fullness through the open channels.
      I went to meetings and heard people speak of joy. I even thought
      I had the joy, but I did not keep it because I had not Himself
      as my joy. At last He said to me ­ Oh so tenderly ­ "My
      child, just take Me, and let Me be in you the constant supply
      of all this, Myself." And when at last I got my eyes off
      my sanctification, and my experience of it, and just placed
      them on the Christ in me, I found, instead of an experience,
      the Christ larger than the moment’s need, the Christ that had
      all that I should ever need who was given to me at once, and
      for ever! And when I thus saw Him, it was such rest; it was all
      right, and right for ever. For I had not only what I could
      hold that little hour, but also in Him, all that I should need
      the next and the next and so on, until sometimes I get a glimpse
      of what it will be a million years afterwards, when we shall
      "shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of our Father"
      (Matt. 13: 43), and have "all the fullness of God."


And so I thought the healing would be an it too, that
      the Lord would take me like the old run-down clock, wind me up,
      and set me going like a machine. It is not thus at all. I found
      it was Himself coming in instead and giving me what I
      needed at the moment. I wanted to have a great stock, so that
      I could feel rich; a great store laid up for many years, so that
      I would not be dependent upon Him the next day; but He never
      gave me such a store. I never had more holiness or healing at
      one time than I needed for that hour. He said: "My child,
      you must come to Me for the next breath because I love you so
      dearly I want you to come all the time. If I gave you a great
      supply, you would do without Me and would not come to Me so often;
      now you have to come to Me every second, and lie on My breast
      every moment." He gave me a great fortune, placed thousands
      and millions at credit, but He gave a cheque-book with this one
      condition, "You never can draw more than you need at the
      time." Every time a cheque was wanted, however, there was
      the name of Jesus upon it, and so it brought more glory to Him,
      kept His name before the heavenly world and God was glorified
      in His Son.


I had to learn to take from Him my spiritual life every second,
      to breathe Himself in as I breathed, and breathe myself out.
      So, moment by moment for the spirit, and moment by moment for
      the body, we must receive. You say, "Is not that a terrible
      bondage, to be always on the strain ?" What, on the strain
      with one you love, your dearest Friend ? Oh, no! It comes so
      naturally, so spontaneously, so like a fountain, without consciousness,
      without effort, for true life is always easy, and overflowing.


And now, thank God, I have Him, not only what I have room
      for, but that which I have not room for, but for which I shall
      have room, moment by moment, as I go on into the eternity before
      me. I am like the little bottle in the sea, as full as it will
      hold. The bottle is in the sea, and the sea is in the bottle;
      so I am in Christ, and Christ is in me. But, besides that bottleful
      in the sea, there is a whole ocean beyond; the difference is,
      that the bottle has to be filled over again, every day, evermore.


Now the question for each of us is not "What think you
      of Bethshan, and what think you of divine healing?" but
      "What think you of Christ?" There came a time when
      there was a little thing between me and Christ. I express it
      by a little conversation with a friend who said, "You were
      healed by faith." "Oh, no," I said, "I was
      healed by Christ." What is the difference? There is a great
      difference. There came a time when even faith seemed to come
      between me and Jesus. I thought I should have to work up the
      faith, so I labored to get the faith. At last I thought I had
      it; that if I put my whole weight upon it, it would hold. I said,
      when I thought I had got the faith, "Heal me." I was
      trusting in myself, in my own heart, in my own faith. I was asking
      the Lord to do something for me because of something in me,
      not because of something in Him. So the Lord allowed the
      devil to try my faith, and the devil devoured it like a roaring
      lion, and I found myself so broken down that I did not think
      I had any faith. God allowed it to be taken away until I felt
      I had none. And then God seemed to speak to me so sweetly, saying,
      "Never mind, my child, you have nothing. But I am
      perfect Power, I am perfect Love, I am Faith, I am your Life,
      I am the preparation for the blessing, and then I am the Blessing,
      too. I am all within and all without, and all for ever."
      It is just having "The Faith of God" (Mark 11: 22,
      margin). "And the life I now live in the flesh, I live,"
      not by faith on the Son of God, but "by the faith
      of the Son of God" (Gal. 2 20). That is it. It is
      not your faith. You have no faith in you, any more than
      you have life or anything else in you. You have nothing but emptiness
      and vacuity, and you must be just openness and readiness to take
      Him to do all. You have to take His faith as well as His life
      and healing, and have simply to say, "I live by the faith
      of the Son of God." My faith is not worth anything. If I
      had to pray for anyone, I would not depend upon my faith at all.
      I would say, "Here, Lord, am I. If you want me to be the
      channel of blessing to this one just breathe into me all that
      I need." It is simply Christ, Christ alone.


Now, is your body yielded to Christ for Him thus to dwell
      and work in you? The Lord Jesus Christ has a body as wel1 as
      you only it is perfect; it is the body, not of a man, but of
      the Son of man. Have you considered why He is called the Son
      of man? The Son of man means that Jesus Christ is the one typical,
      comprehensive, universal, all-inclusive Man. Jesus is the one
      man that contains in Himself all that man ought to be all that
      man needs to have. It is all in Christ. All the fullness of the
      Godhead and the fullness of a perfect manhood has been embodied
      in Christ, and He stands now as the summing-up of all that man
      needs. His spirit is all that your spirit needs, and He just
      gives us Himself. His body possesses all that your body
      needs. He has a heart beating with the strength that your heart
      needs. He has organs and functions redundant with life, not for
      Himself, but for humanity. He does not need strength for Himself.
      The energy which enabled Him to rise and ascend from the tomb,
      above all the forces of nature, was not for Himself. That marvellous
      body belongs to your body. You are a member of His body. Your
      heart has a right to draw from His heart all that it needs. Your
      physical life has a right to draw from His physical life its
      support and strength, and so it is not you, but it is just the
      precious life of the Son of God. Will you take Him thus today,
      and then you will not be merely healed, but you will have a new
      life for all you need, a flood of life that will sweep disease
      away, and then remain a fountain of life for all your future
      need. Oh, take Him in His fullness.


It seems to me as if I might just bring you a little talisman
      today, as if God had given me a little secret for every one here
      and said to me, "Go and tell them, if they will take it,
      it will be a talisman of power wherever they go, and it will
      carry them through difficulty, danger, fear, life, death, eternity."
      If I could stand on this platform and say, "I have received
      from heaven a secret of wealth and success which God will give
      freely, through my hand, to everybody who will take it,"
      I am sure you would need a larger hall for the people who would
      come. But, dear friends, I show you in His Word a truth which
      is more precious. The Apostle Paul tells us that there is a secret,
      a great secret which was hidden from ages and from generations
      (Col. 1: 26), which the world was seeking after in vain, which
      wise men from the East hoped they might find, and God says it
      "is now made manifest to his saints"; and Paul went
      through the world just to tell it to those that were able to
      receive it; and that simple secret is just this "Christ
      in you the hope of glory."


The word "mystery" means secret; this is the great
      secret. And I tell you today, nay, I can give you, if you will
      take it from Him, not from me-I can give you a secret which has
      been to me, oh, so wonderful! Years ago I came to Him burdened
      with guilt and fear; I tried that simple secret, and it took
      away all my fear and sin. Years passed on, and I found sin overcoming
      me and my temptations too strong for me. I came to Him a second
      time, and He whispered to me, "Christ in you," and
      I had victory, rest and blessing.


Then the body broke away in every sort of way. I had always
      worked hard, and from the age of fourteen I studied and labored
      and spared no strength. I took charge of a large congregation
      at the age of twenty-one; I broke down utterly half a dozen times
      and at my last constitution was worn out. Many times I feared
      I should drop dead in my pulpit. I could not ascend any height
      without a sense of suffocation, because of a broken-down heart
      and exhausted nervous system. I heard of the Lord’s healing,
      but I struggled against it. I was afraid of it. I had been taught
      in theological seminaries that the age of the supernatural was
      past, and I could not go back from my early training. My head
      was in my way, but at last when I was brought to attend "the
      funeral of my dogmatics," as Mr. Schrenck says, "the
      Lord whispered to me the little secret, ‘Christ in you’; and
      from that hour I received Him for my body as I had done for my
      soul. I was made so strong and well that work has been a perfect
      delight. For years I have spent my summer holiday in the hot
      city of New York, preaching and working amongst the masses, as
      I never did before; besides the work of our Home and College
      and an immense mass of library work and much besides. But the
      Lord did not merely remove my sufferings. It was more than simple
      healing. He so gave me Himself that I lost the painful consciousness
      of physical organs. That is the best of the health He gives.
      I thank the Lord that He keeps me from all morbid, physical consciousness
      and a body that is the object of anxious care, and gives a simple
      life that is a delight and a service for the Master, that is
      a rest and joy.


Then, again, I had a poor sort of a mind, heavy and cumbrous,
      that did not think or work quickly. I wanted to write and speak
      for Christ and to have a ready memory, so as to have the little
      knowledge I had gained always under command. I went to Christ
      about it, and asked if He had anything for me in this way. He
      replied, "Yes, my child, I am made unto you Wisdom."
      I was always making mistakes, which I regretted, and then thinking
      I would not make them again; but when He said that He would be
      my wisdom, that we may have the mind of Christ, that He could
      cast down imaginations and bring into captivity every thought
      to the obedience of Christ, that He could make the brain and
      head right, then I took Him for all that. And since then I have
      been kept free from this mental disability, and work has been
      rest. I used to write two sermons a week, and it took me three
      days to complete one. But now, in connection with my literary
      work, I have numberless pages of matter to write constantly besides
      the conduct of very many meetings a week, and all is delightfully
      easy to me. The Lord has helped me mentally, and I know He is
      the Saviour of our mind as well as our spirit.


Well, then, I had an irresolute will. I asked, ‘ Cannot you
      be a will to me?" He said, "Yes, my child, it is God
      who worketh in you to will and to do." Then He made me to
      learn how and when to be firm, and how and when to yield. Many
      people have a decided will, but they do not know how to hold
      on just at the proper moment. So, too, I came to Him for power
      for His work and all the resources for His service, and He has
      not failed me.


And so I would say, if this precious little secret of "Christ
      in you," will help you, you may have it. May you make better
      use of it than I! I feel I have only begun to learn how well
      it works. Take it and go on working it out, through time and
      eternity-Christ for all, grace for grace, from strength to strength,
      from glory to glory, from this time forth and even for evermore.

                                                          By: A. B. Simpson

              Once it was the blessing,
              Now it is the Lord;
              Once it was the feeling,
              Now it is His Word.
              Once His gifts I wanted,
              Now the Giver own;
              Once I sought for healing,
              Now Himself alone.


Once ’twas painful trying,
              Now ’tis perfect trust;
              Once a half salvation,
              Now the uttermost.
              Once ’twas ceaseless holding,
              Now He holds me fast;
              Once ’twas constant drifting,
              Now my anchor’s cast.


Once ’twas busy planning,
              Now ’tis trustful prayer;
              Once ’twas anxious caring,
              Now He has the care.
              Once ’twas what I wanted
              Now what Jesus says;
              Once ’twas constant asking,
              Now ’tis ceaseless praise.


Once it was my working,
              His it hence shall be;
              Once I tried to use Him,
              Now He uses me.
              Once the power I wanted,
              Now the Mighty One;
              Once for self I labored,
              Now for Him alone.


Once I hoped in Jesus,
              Now I know He’s mine;
              Once my lamps were dying,
              Now they brightly shine.
              Once for death I waited,
              Now His coming hail;
              And my hopes are anchored
              Safe within the vail.





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