I recently read an alarming statistic. It would seem that the average American receives about 40 negative messages about themselves each day. That is about 233,000 negative messages a persons receives by the time they are 16 years old!

The study also noted that on the positive side, we receive about 3 positive messages about ourselves each day. That is about 17,000+ positives messages we receive in those same 16 years of life.

I also learned that it takes about 40 positive messages to counteract 1 negative message…that being said, it becomes easy to see that we all operate in a huge self-esteem deficit that affects every area of our lives. The early years of a child's life are the most critical years where safety, security and a positive view of themselves needs to be instilled in order to be healthy. But in those formative years, the primary message that gets in is not a message the inspires or validates, but rather one that reminds us through media, culture, friends and family that we are too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, not pretty enough, or not deserving enough…the list goes on and on.

Perhaps we should call this V.D.D (Validation Deficit Disorder). But more importantly, for me, it reminds me how absolutely essential it is that we become people who validate, encourage, inspire and love others. Not only do we need it, but every one around us is living in a world where the negative messages about themselves far outweighs the positive ones…they need it too.

Is it any wonder why so many people struggle today, or why so many people are on anti-depressant medication? When the primary message we are all receiving about ourselves is that we aren't good enough or don't quite measure up, how could we expect a different result. If we have nothing but negative self images bombarding us daily without the countering positive messages, we will become what the predominant message of the day is…and today that is negative. In other words, as a society…we don't validate.

A friend of mine sent me the link to this incredible arts film on validation. It is well written and well filmed…take some time, grab a cup of coffee or tea and be inspired to make sure the positive words that are coming from your soul far outweigh the negative ones, believe me, they will then impact the planet!

Dei Gratia

Monty

One of the key differences between people who enjoy life and those who exist through life is the way they deal with the defining moments of life. Defining moments come in all shapes and sizes. They are good, bad, and benign. A defining moment presents itself to us when we need to make a decision that will be unpopular, or even when the decision might make us a star. The difference-maker is how we allow them to affect who we are.

I talk with people every week who are facing these kind of choices, and it amazes me how two people will navigate the same type of situation so differently. But since the truth is that we become the sum total of our choices, it is important that we think through the events of life not only before we make a choice, but again, sometime later, to take stock on how our defining moments have defined us!

That is why January can be such a powerful time of year. There is nothing intrinsically magic about the month, but it carries a belief of newness, possibility, creativity, and potentiality.

So take a moment this week and look back at your defining moments of 2008. They could have been events that impacted you on a global scale, from presidential elections to world economies, to events on a smaller scale such as the loss of a job, or the establishing of a new vibrant relationship!

Think through how you dealt with, or didn't deal with those moments and events, and how you might approach them differently in the future. Did you grow because of them, or did they control you? If some of the events of 2008 were not defining you in a positive way, make sure you don't begin the self-condemning game, simply think through ways you can change your response as you move forward into 2009.Grace is the agent that can change your responses to the defining moments of life.

Generally, a change in perspective is all that is needed to transform you so that you are a person who harnesses events into positive experiences instead of allowing the circumstances of life to dictate your reality. Here are a couple ideas to get a new perspective for 09:

1. Move your furniture around. You get a new feel and flow in your surroundings. You can change any room that you feel stuck in from the boardroom to the bedroom.

2. Change your morning ritual. Everybody has a ritual, it's what you do do automatically when you get up each day. Do you go straight to the shower? Or do you go straight to the coffee maker? Do you exercise and give your body a Tai Chi stretch, or do you grumble and bounce along the walls until your eyes finally open! Whatever your ritual is, give it a tune-up, a quick change. This can change the way your start your day. Consider adding some elements to your ritual that will propel you into the day like prayer, meditation, or exercise. Maybe you need to subtract some elements from your rituals like too much caffeine, CNN or unhealthy foods.

3. Alternate your travel route. This might seem weird, but you have an ingrained travel route and by simply changing the paths you automatically take, to a different route, can positively change the way you look at problems, obstacles and life. You will see new sights, and begin telling your brain that it doesn't have to think the way it always has.

4.  "This space for your idea"   What are your change ideas? I'd love to hear them!

So, tell me what your defining moments were in 2008 and how they impacted you!

Dei Gratia,

Monty

One of the key differences between people who enjoy life and those who exist through life is the way they deal with the defining moments of life. Defining moments come in all shapes and sizes. They are good, bad, and benign. A defining moment presents itself to us when we need to make a decision that will be unpopular, or even when the decision might make us a star. The difference-maker is how we allow them to affect who we are.

I talk with people every week who are facing these kind of choices, and it amazes me how two people will navigate the same type of situation so differently. But since the truth is that we become the sum total of our choices, it is important that we think through the events of life not only before we make a choice, but again, sometime later, to take stock on how our defining moments have defined us!

That is why January can be such a powerful time of year. There is nothing intrinsically magic about the month, but it carries a belief of newness, possibility, creativity, and potentiality.

So take a moment this week and look back at your defining moments of 2008. They could have been events that impacted you on a global scale, from presidential elections to world economies, to events on a smaller scale such as the loss of a job, or the establishing of a new vibrant relationship!

Think through how you dealt with, or didn't deal with those moments and events, and how you might approach them differently in the future. Did you grow because of them, or did they control you? If some of the events of 2008 were not defining you in a positive way, make sure you don't begin the self-condemning game, simply think through ways you can change your response as you move forward into 2009.Grace is the agent that can change your responses to the defining moments of life.

Generally, a change in perspective is all that is needed to transform you so that you are a person who harnesses events into positive experiences instead of allowing the circumstances of life to dictate your reality. Here are a couple ideas to get a new perspective for 09:

1. Move your furniture around. You get a new feel and flow in your surroundings. You can change any room that you feel stuck in from the boardroom to the bedroom.

2. Change your morning ritual. Everybody has a ritual, it's what you do do automatically when you get up each day. Do you go straight to the shower? Or do you go straight to the coffee maker? Do you exercise and give your body a Tai Chi stretch, or do you grumble and bounce along the walls until your eyes finally open! Whatever your ritual is, give it a tune-up, a quick change. This can change the way your start your day. Consider adding some elements to your ritual that will propel you into the day like prayer, meditation, or exercise. Maybe you need to subtract some elements from your rituals like too much caffeine, CNN or unhealthy foods.

3. Alternate your travel route. This might seem weird, but you have an ingrained travel route and by simply changing the paths you automatically take, to a different route, can positively change the way you look at problems, obstacles and life. You will see new sights, and begin telling your brain that it doesn't have to think the way it always has.

4.  "This space for your idea"   What are your change ideas? I'd love to hear them!

So, tell me what your defining moments were in 2008 and how they impacted you!

Dei Gratia,

Monty

Wow what a storm eh? The snow is still falling and the wind is still howling! Christmas will definitely be white this year!

Here is a PDF of the outline for the "Drummer Boy" message. As you look out and ponder the snow from your house-bound vantage point, may you know that God loves you as you are today. That you don't need to perform for Him, and gather the most expensive of gifts to appease Him. Jesus came to reveal the true nature and heart of God. As we celebrate the grace of the Incarnation, may we allow Christ to reframe our mental picture of who God is, and realize that He is not distant, disinterested and demanding…but through Jesus we are introduced to the real God who is close, concerned and caring!

Download Drummer Boy-student

Merry Christmas

Monty