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10 Questions To Assess, Align and Launch You into 2013

2013

The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success.
~Henry Ward Beecher

If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.
~Yogi Berra

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.  ~Seneca

Goals are dreams with deadlines.  ~Diana Scharf Hunt

Guess what? January is just a breath away. As the calendar turn us yet again into another year, there is a natural sense, hard-wired into us, to reset our souls, realign our priorities and establish goals to accomplish our dreams.

I have looked over many different lists of questions that others have asked themselves in order to move forward, and here I have selected the top 10. These questions are powerful, I would recommend that you schedule some time to be alone where you can pray, read through the questions, and then write out answers to the questions.

After you have answered the questions, the next step will be to prioritize them and set some short term and long term goals in order to measure progress and see movement toward the direction you are going.

1. What area of your life is most in need a change this year?

2. What is one thing you can do to dramatically improve your relationship with God this year?

3. What would happen if your best dream came true? What is your best dream?

4.  What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

5.  What positive habit would you most like to establish this year?

6. Where will you commit and invest your time and talent this year?

7. What book(s) will you read this year (outside of the Bible) to enrich your life?

8. What area of doctrine/theology/spirituality do you want to study for better understanding this year?

9. What one thing can you do this year that will leave a positive and lasting legacy for your family and community?

10. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?

After you have finished answering these questions, it is critical that you create a “next step” of what you will do to make your answer become a reality. Dreams and goals are great, but if they are absent an action plan they generally never see lift-off. As you create actionable steps employ someone you can share your list with and ask them to keep you accountable to doing what you know you need to do.

The choices and decisions you make today -will- determine your life experience and outcome in the next 5-10 years. So carefully answer the questions and establish a plan to accomplish the goals you have made.

Bonus Questions for those who dare!

1. Ask your spouse,

  • What is it like having me as a husband/wife?
  • What can I do differently this year to improve our marriage?”

2. Ask your kids, “What is it like having me for a mom/dad?

  • What is it like having me for a mom/dad?
  • What can I do this year to be a better parent?

3. Ask your co-workers,

  • What one thing can I do differently this year that will make the most positive impact for our company?
  • What is it like to work with me?

4. Ask your pastor,

  • What is the greatest need our church has that I can help with?
  • Where should I be plugging in at church to become the person God created me to be?

Here’s a final thought on persistence from Zig Ziglar:

“Persistence is the ability to maintain actions regardless of your feelings. You press on even when you feel like quitting. When you work on any big goal your motivation will wax and wane like the waves hitting the shore. Sometimes you’ll feel motivated, sometimes you won’t. But it’s not your motivation that creates results – it’s your action.

Persistence allows you to keep taking action even when you don’t feel motivated to do so, and therefore you keep accumulating results. Persistence will ultimately provide its own motivation. If you simply keep taking action, you’ll eventually get results, and results can be very motivating.”

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Waiting…

waiting

Waiting is the hard work of being human. Waiting is conjoined with patience creating beauty when they erupt into action at the right moment  with the right motivation. But this requires faith that believes that something awaits, hidden from view, that will make its debut.

The heart that cannot wait rushes around trying to find something, anything,. The fruitless search concludes that whatever it is that is being sought must be somewhere else. Each place they visit fails to deliver the beauty they seek, so impatiently, they move on, missing the moment searching for that something that hides in the rushing and can only be found in waiting.

To live the spiritual discipline of waiting is an active listening, looking, moving and knowing. True waiting is never passive but alive. Faith ignited to see the invisible and know the unknowable. But this comes by process; not a one-time divine zap. It is trust exercised in hope knowing that God is there and that God is always good.

Oswald Chambers noted:

“One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God.” 

When I wait, I become aware of my shadow-
…I am thankful for grace.
When I wait, I realize that I too often place myself on God’s throne-
…I am thankful for mercy.
When I wait, I feel the anxiousness my heart carries-
…I am thankful for peace.
When I wait, I see the effects of my sin on others-
…I am thankful for forgiveness.
When I wait, I know that I live a rushed life-
…I am thankful for silence.

“Stand still” – keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, “Go forward.” ~Charles Spurgeon

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30-33

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9


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Valley of Vision

I have many different collections  of prayers. From modern writers to prayers from the early church fathers. One of my favorite collections of prayers hails from the Puritan tribe and is called “Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions”

The Puritan movement was a wave of influence in the sixteenth and seventeenth century right up to the time of Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) who might be regarded as the last of the great Puritan preachers.

The heartbeat of Puritan spirituality was a deep devotion to the practice of prayer. The prayers in the book, “The Valley of Vision” are taken from many of the greats like Spurgeon, William Law, Richard Baxter, Augustus Toplady, John Bunyan ands Isaac Watts to name a few. This prayer is the opening prayer to the book…Take a moment, remove your distractions, ask the Holy Spirit to speak and reflectively read the prayer.

Enjoy!

********************

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter the stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

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Dealing With Disapointments

Every day  a minefield of potential disappointments needs to be navigated. They range in scope, complexity and depth of pain. In the last couple of months I have walked with people through a number of disappointments. For example:

  • A young man processing a freshly broken heart.
  • A marriage that ended after years of counseling and struggle.
  • Another life taken by the devastation of cancer.
  • Multiple people who lost jobs and dreams.
  • Stressed out couples looking foreclosure in the face.
  • One woman who has faced over 70 surgeries that haven’t worked.
  • A hard conversation that didn’t end as the person had hoped.

Disappointments happen, but they don’t have to define you. Too often people who experience disappointments begin to create an identity out of them which leads to a victim mindset and actually perpetuates a deadly cycle.

Disappointments happen when our expectations and considerations are not aligned with reality. Current studies are revealing that a person who lives with a sense of constant disappointment is at a higher risk for health issues such as chronic stress, headaches, and gastrointestinal problems just to name a few.

How To Deal With Disappointments

1.  Own Your Feelings

I have worked with people who employed many different methods of coping with disappointments. Perhaps the most used method, and also the most destructive one, is taking a long cruise on that big ol’ river in Egypt… Denial. Denial comes in many forms. There is the classic minimizer who seems optimistic by minimizing the current situation, but truth-be-told, it is just another form of denial. Full blown denial simply chooses to not embrace or admit the emotional toll that a disappointment has created.

Comments like, “It’s no big deal” “I’m fine with it” “It really didn’t matter to me anyway” or even “It doesn’t affect me” reveal that we are not in touch with our emotions.  If we don’t own how a disappointment has affected us, the emotional pain will drive down deep and eventually leak out in destructive ways onto other people.

So the first step in dealing with disappointments is to be honest, admit how you feel, acknowledge the emotions that are churning inside you and grieve what was lost. This brings your emotional reality into the light where it can be dealt with and healed instead of of being pent up and eventually combusting.

2.  Change Your Perspective

While you may not be able to choose what events happen in your life, you do have the ability to choose how to respond in a given situation. If you have dealt with the truth about how a situation has made you feel, then you are better able to respond instead of react.

If you haven’t dealt with your emotions and the reality of a situation, more than likely you will either moves towards  denial or depression.  If you have dealt honestly with how you are feeling, you can make a choice to look at the circumstances differently. Most people that I know seem to be professional worriers, so their thoughts swirl around the negative and keep the disappointment alive. Instead of dwelling on the disappointment you need to choose different thoughts, different data to center on.

Perspective Changing Questions:  Ask yourself some question that will help you change your thinking. “I wonder what God is up to in this?” This question reminds me that there is a bigger picture and a higher reality at work all the time, and that God is always working in my life through the good, bad and ugly. While God may not be the cause of every situation I face, His promise is to be with me through all of life’s circumstances. This gives me hope and I remember that as long as I am breathing, God is still at work in me.

The second question I ask is “How should I respond in a way that has integrity and vision” To respond with integrity means that I have choices that will grow my soul or shrink it. When I react, my soul shrinks and I become less human. When I pause, evaluate and respond, I have the opportunity to grow, be light and get a higher view of the situation.

To think vision means that I believe there is a preferred future that this disappointment can shape me for. I have found in my own life that it has been the disappointments and the dark nights that have grown my soul and not the mountain top experiences. Every life experience is a soul-forge, changing your perspective from disappointment to vision unleashes potential.

3.  Move Your Body

This might sound strange at first, but doing something physical makes a big difference in moving from disappointment towards hope. Staying on the couch asking “why” questions over and over will keep you stuck in a rut. Get up, get out and do something. There is a direct correlation between physical exercise and emotional and spiritual health. They are all integrated. Here are a few things to consider doing to help you change your perspective:

* Hit the gym. When you go to the gym to work out you can tale your iPod with you and listen to good music, great teaching and all kinds of positive reinforcement. you can listen to my messages by going here or on iTunes by simply putting my name in the search bar.

* Go for a walk or a hike.  Get outside and breathe in some fresh air and immerse yourself in God’s creation.

* Time to pray. Prayer can also be physical  by incorporating them on your walk, run or treadmill. Talk to God, ask some soul questions as you go, you’ll not only get some air into your lugs and blood moving through your soul, but you’ll also connect with God while you do it.

* Become a MMA cage fighter. Just kidding, but ongoing involvement with a Karate class or Tai Chi are great ways to keep your body moving, help you focus, and integrate a healthier lifestyle. I have found that when I am balancing the three areas that are me (Body, Soul and Spirit) I am better at handling the disappointments that come my way.

Questions to consider:

+ where do my thoughts go, and what do I dwell on when I get depressed or am disappointed?

+ how can I look at a situation with integrity and vision?

+ who is in my life that I can call to help me with my perspective?

+ what small step can I take towards getting physical activity in my life?

Give me your thoughts and leave a comment!

~Monty