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7 Father’s Day Ideas

Ah Father’s Day. It’s the day that Home Depot executives smile and the BBQ industry dances a little jig. On Mother’s Day the restaurants are over-booked for that special brunch, but Father’s day…argh…it’s about dad’s BBQ genius demonstrating why God chose him to be a  man and that there is no better!

I still have countless Father’s Day artifacts from both Emma and Liam at various stages of life. A construction paper tie; a box to hold manly stuff-and-things; pictures drawn with love and garnished with various colored food items from the fridge. Mostly, I have memories that I don’t ever want to lose. It is amazing how little our kids remember about their growing up years. Events and trips that are forever embedded in my heart and mind retrieve a complete “huh” from my kids when I ask them if they remember.

So I think that the best way to celebrate Father’s Day this year is to consider some things that you won’t find at Home Depot or the Nordstrom Rack. Here are seven powerful suggestions for a Father’s Day that might surprise you, but as a dad, I think they have some real potential.

1. Retell a Favorite Story:

Take a moment and think back…Do you remember that special trip, or school event or perhaps it was a baseball game that your dad was at and it meant the world to you. Write a one page letter retelling the story and let your dad know that he truly made that day special for you  and that you will always remember it. Be detail oriented, fill in the memories!

2. The Gift of You:

You have probably figured out by now that the older you get the faster time dissipates. One of the best gifts you can give your dad is the gift of your presence. The gift of your presence is spelled T-I-M-E, hang out together. Write up a little card that is redeemable for some time to  do whatever, fish, hang, go to a movie. Your dad knows that your life is busy, but he would love to have some time to simply be with you.

3. Advice List:

Men are wired as fix-it pros. We morph and come alive when we can help, make a difference or fix something. Most dad’s dread the day when they are no longer needed. For a dad, fixing your stuff and/or your problems is energizing, However, as you got older and smarter, you needed dad’s fix-it help less. This Father’s Day prepare a list of questions asking for his advice on various things from relationships to clogged sinks!

4. Your Dreams:

As a dad, I want to know what stirs my kids’ soul. What do they dream about? What are they most passionate about? How would they like to be a Planet Changer? Where does their mind go when they have time to think? So give your dad a visionary list of the deep desires God has infused into your soul. Share the whys and the whats about your passions and let him explore the possibilities with you.

5. His Dreams:

Have you ever taken the time to ask your dad about his dreams, his passions, his goals? We so often forget that our parents are people too! And that just like us, they too have God infused dreams in their soul. Ask about the dreams that have happened. Ask about the dreams that didn’t. Ask about the dreams that were sacrificed so that you could have the life that you have. Parents have sacrificed much that goes unnoticed by their children, and the sacrifice was generally made for them. This conversation will give you a whole new perspective on who your dad is, and it will affect the way you invest in your future.

6. A Repeater:

How about giving your dad a gift that keeps on giving! A once a month hike…a weekly coffee meet-up…a mile or more walk every week…read the same book and get together to discuss it…a monthly movie date…it could be anything, just make it consistent!

7. Amnesty

Ok, let’s admit it, all dad’s blow it. All dad’s make mistakes. All dad’s need forgiveness. This gift of forgiveness might be the best offering that will bless both you and your dad this year. To forgive someone doesn’t mean that you are forgetting the past or denying a wrong-doing. It doesn’t mean that you are waiting for an apology or neglecting or approving of a sin… rather you are choosing to free yourself from a self-imposed prison of hate or anger that seeks revenge. The benefits of forgiving others is worthy of an entire post! We long for our dad’s to be perfect, and when they aren’t it can be crushing. Our ideals are altered and our reality takes a hit. This Father’s Day choose to look at your dad as a broken human just like you…a man who is imperfect, just like you…a person in need of grace just like you…Let this be the year that you choose to forgive and begin building a relationship that fills your soul.

Happy Father’s Day!
Monty 

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30k Child Boxers…


Kony forces children into becoming brutal killing machines…the U.N.  estimates human trafficking to be a 32 billion dollar industry…every day we learn of more sweat shops that exploit children so that we in the West can buy our stuff in Big Box stores for cheap.

Today I learned of another situation that truly caused me to pause. There is a new documentary coming out called Buffalo Girls. In the documentary, they follow the lives of two eight year old girls in Thailand, who fight for money. The producers of the film noted:

“In the US eight-year-old girls compete in beauty pageants. In Thailand, they compete in Muay Thai fights.”

While it is easy for us to find that place of righteous indignation against a warlord like Kony, or US corporations who exploit children workers, I am wondering how this will play out. I think most will respond with less than favorable words, but to indict this will also mean that we need to indict this for adults as well. The things a culture condones and promotes breeds acceptance and a sense of normalcy for the young who grow up in that culture.

Check out the video below, and I’d like to hear all kinds of feedback on this…lets wade through all the ethical, moral, economic and cultural waters that a subject like this stirs up.  Here’s a link to their web site:  http://www.buffalogirlsthemovie.com/#

Monty

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Global Day of Prayer for BURMA

Sunday March 11th 2012 is the Global Day of Prayer for Burma. While there has been some positive recent developments, there continues to be great oppression, killing and displacement of the peoples of Burma by its militaristic government. Please download the this years update and pray with me on Sunday March 11th!

click here to download the magazine  DOP 2012 Booklet

Thanks!

Monty

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Alzheimer’s and ethics

You might not know it, but today is  “World Alzheimer’s Day.” This day is spearheaded by an organization called The Global Voice on Dementia. You can check them out at:  http://www.alz.co.uk/  This has become a global concern that even the UN has taken notice of, and this week they are addressing it for the second year in a row.

The most recent stats claim that there are currently 30 million people who suffer from dementia, and there will be an estimated 100 million people by the year 2050.

If Alzheimer’s has not affected you or your family, there is truly no way to adequately communicate how painful, hard and devastating it is on the whole family. As the days go by, there seems to be less and less of the person you knew and loved “at home” in their body. To live through the deterioration causes you to ask God some serious questions. Walking through the effects of Alzheimer’s when it came to visit my family, has left all of us changed…it was a very long and hard journey.

I think that is why I had such an instantaneous reaction to Pat Robertson’s remark about Alzheimer’s this week. A man whose wife had Alz indicated that since his wife was no longer “there” he was moving on with his life, and wondered if it was okay to divorce her since there was not a tangible relationship anymore.

While Pat has made some pretty embarrassing news remarks over the years, which have often given Christianity a black eye, when he said it was okay for this man to divorce his wife since Alzheimer’s is a “kind of death” I was speechless.

When we reduce love and commitment to a formula that says, ” I am only in this as long as my needs are met, we have absolutely missed what it means to follow Christ with our actions and choices.

This kind of ethic-less thinking means that if you are not able to do for me what I want, regardless of a medical diagnosis, then I have no moral or ethical responsibility to stay in a relationship with you. Unfortunately I have actually witnessed couples divorcing months after a marriage began because one spouse got cancer, and the leaving spouse knew his sexual needs wouldn’t get met.

Amazing…bad form…wrong…selfish…ugly…

This reveals how me-centric we have the capacity of being, and how desperately we need God to help transform us into men and women who choose truth and sacrifice over self, ease or comfortability.

Do you remember the old “Lifeboat” analogy we grew up with…where there was a diverse group of people in a rescue boat, from teachers and lawyers, to disabled and jobless. The Lifeboat dilemma was that the boat was overloaded and some of the people had to go…the question to process through was…which life was truly worth saving. Welcome to ethics 101, and throw in a dash of situation ethics as well.

When we think life can be trimmed down to easy answers and flippantly decide which people deserve our love; which people deserve our unconditional commitment, and what is the loop-hole I can deploy when life get tough, we reduce our humanity to something more animalistic.

The man who Pat gave a get-out-of-marriage free card to, might have felt some relief for a while, but I think soon he will be flooded with other feelings that are not quite so life-giving. I know the weight and burden the loved ones of Alz patients carry is immense, but life isn’t devoid of pain. Instead of running from the pain and the feelings, real life it’s about who we are becoming through the pain.

You see God has placed His own source code into the hearts of us all. While we are good at tricking ourselves, living in denial or avoiding the questions of the soul…when the night spaces come, our heart is crying out the questions unleashed by the divine DNA within us, and we know that there are truths that exist beyond our comfort zones and our ability  to justify.

Every life matters because every life has its genesis in the creative imagination of God. We have the opportunity to most reflect the God-reality within us when we choose love, life, to invest in those considered un-worthy, to love those who seem un-lovable, and to stay committed to those who we made a covenant with and are unable to reciprocate because of something as devastating as Alzheimer’s.

In a very real way, God demonstrates the opposite advice that Pat gave. As God looked at broken humanity that struggled with a complete disconnect from the divine, He could have said, “Well, their sin situation is kind of a death, so I don’t need to stick around.” Fortunately for us He didn’t. In fact in Romans 5:8 we read:

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were       still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Then in chapter 6 verse 23 Paul reminds us: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” So when we were considered “dead” that is when God’s extravagant love went into overdrive, not into a me-centric justification for non-involvement.

The life-giving model we see in the choices of the Father and the Son is to preserve the beauty and sanctity of life…not look for loop holes to disengage.

May we raise our awareness, compassion and love and stay committed to the ones we love, especially those with whom we said, “Til Death do us part.”

Dei Gratia…Monty